Creating Culture in a Wrestling Room (Values Talks)
At Lakeland Wrestling, we talk a lot about our core values. I believe they are the chief reason we have developed Culture (Capital C). This idea is by no means unique but we believe our purposeful nature makes our values more effective.
Each year, the team selects a set of values for the following team. This keeps them current and reflecting the team as it is at this moment.
This year, our goals are the following: Family, Communication, Trust, Fighter, Growth, Gratitude. As I said, they are particular to the given year. For instance, with last year being a Covid year, gratitude was HUGE for us. Remembering how lucky we are then practicing that gratitude regularly was instrumental. It created a culture where not a single student-athlete quit during such a challenging time.
Here I want to talk about how the main tactic we use to develop these ideas. Value Talks. These talks are how we rectify the issue of core values being just words on a t-shirt. These group talks turn them into actions in their lives. By doing this, they understand what the value represents and why it is beneficial to leverage it throughout their life.
This is not a one-off practice. But we have found that taking just 45 minutes per value to talk as a group can be hugely impactful on how the team takes ownership of these ideas. The how and the when of these talks fluctuates, but the basic idea is consistent. Sitting down and having a conversation about each value to dig into what it is, why we want it, and what it looks like in practice.
The value we covered this week is Family. Family as a core value is by no means original. Every athlete wants a team that feels like a family. You think it would be easy to cultivate, but it can be tricky. It takes direct effort to assure that this family atmosphere gets developed- that the freshman added to the team understand the expectations in this context.
Here is the itinerary for this meeting. Allow me to walk you through it.
1. We open up by explaining why we are talking about what we are talking about.
These ideas are outlined above. This is the only time in which the coaches will talk more than the athletes.
-We are taking vague abstract ideas and turning them into concrete actions.
-These values are not what we WANT to be. They are what we ARE.
-They are our barometer for how we are doing and we will use them to judge ourselves.
-They are what makes us distinct and we must lean into it.
2. What is family and why do we want it?
These questions are meant to just get us talking. Remember, this process is athlete-driven. Let them speak to define the value. Let awkward silences be, someone will fill them in. They can talk about anything here. Just allow them to use their own experiences to explore the basic idea. There are no wrong answers here and you must allow them to feel open to express.
3. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Tell me a story
These, to me, are the juicy questions. Have them speak of their experiences but make sure you dig in. Don’t let them off the hook with vague statements. Make sure they define how they felt clearly. They need to explain what happened specifically and how it made them feel. They aren’t used to expressing these feelings so a little prodding goes a long way. Hopefully, you begin to get some deeper more poignant answers.
4. How does a wrestling room with a good family feel like? What does it feel like when there isn’t family?
These questions are just to keep the conversation going. I have found it helps bring the conversation to the wrestling room but any type of family works. These questions are just tools to get them to speak openly about their experiences. We’re trying to get them to say what they want to feel in the wrestling room then work backward from there to find actions that create these feelings.
5. What are actions inside and outside of the wrestling room that show that we’re a family?
At this point, we should be very well spent on the feelings portion. Everyone should understand what it feels like to be a family. Now we need to really nail down the actions that create these feelings.
4. How do we cultivate family?
This is a similar question as 5 except it’s more about the groundwork for when people are joining our group. How do we welcome them? How do we avoid the natural pitfalls of group dynamics such as cliques or other frustrations?
The actions we define here should be repeated ad nauseam. By doing so, it will be clear to everyone in and out of the wrestling room what we expect of each other. The concrete actions allow the team to praise each other when they see someone act in accordance with the value and call them out when they see something that isn’t right.
Note this is not a one size fits all guide. The conversation will change every time. You must be ready to pivot and change when needed. The idea is that you give it effort, you give it thought, you give it time. By doing so, you show its value and help your team see it too. It may be an ugly, awkward conversation but that is okay.
But even if it is perfect (it wasn’t), it cannot end here. There is no chance that one covers everything so you must be ready to have impromptu conversations about what Family means when you find a situation where it’s at hand. By working at it continually, by talking about it regularly, you ensure that these values are more than words on a t-shirt.